parkinsonSpace

I haven’t really written much in the blog recently. The last post was at the end of September, just before teaching began, when I left a video for my students to explain the symptoms of Parkinson’s. Over the last few months, I’ve had some ups and downs – more downs than ups, I think sometimes. I certainly haven’t managed to produce posts as frequently as I had before the summer, so in the near future I would like to talk more about specific events such as the holiday in Malawi, the return to work, voice therapy and physiotherapy, amongst others. These are all Good Things. However, today I want to focus on the downs of Parkinson’s.

In the early summer I felt good, I felt I had a lot of strength, the temperatures rose, the sun was out and life was sweet. My posts were optimistic…. but Then Things Changed. If there is one factor I would like to be able to add to the treatment of the condition it would be to pinpoint exactly why things are sometimes better and sometimes worse. Why is it that my walking gets suddenly better whereas at another time on the same day I am shuffling from pillar to post bemused by the random pattern made by the sodden, slippery leaves that cover the pavement?  Why is it that I sometimes struggle to get out of a chair? Or find it impossible to move my right arm or my right leg?

Stress and anxiety have something to do with it. In the summer, relaxed, everything seems much easier. As the new term approaches in September I get progressively more down and concerned. The question hovers over me as to whether I’m ready for it or whether this might be my last year lecturing. Such worries can completely paralyse me, just as a tense atmosphere or outbreak of anger will stop me in my tracks. So, in September and October I struggle with everything. Tai Chi becomes an obstacle course. Work piles up and emails go unanswered until something breaks the vicious circle.

Now in November things seem much easier. I know the students, I’m confident with the material and I know where I’m going. My family and all the health professionals I’ve seen this autumn helped to boost my confidence. The Consultant I saw last Friday cheered me up greatly when she said she could see I was better than the last time she had seen me. That was very positive; now I’m looking forward to the teaching this week.